Have you heard about this big football game that’s coming up next week?  It’s this once-a-year excuse to go all out, throw dietary caution to the wind and eat massive quantities of wings, dips and chips.  Or is that only at my house?  From what I understand, this is a nationwide phenomenon.  In case you are suffering from a last minute panic about what to make for the big game, I’ve compiled a list of my favorite football appropriate recipes, starting with this so-good-you’ll-want-to-eat-it-with-a-spoon onion dip.

I know that it’s so simple to grab a packet of powdery nothingness to whip up a batch of onion dip, but who is excited about telling their guests that the dip they are consuming at a furious pace came from a powder?  Astronauts eat food that comes from a powder.  Us earth dwellers should expect better.  This dip is so far beyond powder-based dips that you will never go back.  This takes traditional onion dip and cranks the volume up to Irrationally Good.  You may have to hide your spoons.

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Something about a warm, soft pretzel is utterly irresistible.  The crisp, salted crust hiding a perfectly chewy center.  Something this delicious must be insanely difficult to make.  There is no way that I could possibly replicate that perfection in my tiny, amateurish kitchen.  First big surprise of the year: Pretzels are ridiculously easy to make.  Dangerously easy.

Using this simple base recipe, you can make pretzel dogs, pretzels stuffed with garlic and cheese, cinnamon sugar coated pretzel twists and other endless variations.  Like the baked corndogs, these are perfect party food.  They are addictive, filling and will be devoured quickly.  Serve them with a variety of flavored mustards and you will be the talk of the town.  Let’s just say that you may have to scrape a couple jaws off the floor when people say “You made these?!?!”

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Consider these clementine cakes my apology for throwing that heaping pile of indulgent deliciousness in your direction last week.  When I tell you that these mini cakes are guilt-free, I mean they are completely guilt free.  They also happen to be gluten-free, refined sugar-free and flour-free (ok, flourless but I was on a roll there!). Did I forget to mention that they are also packed with protein and fiber?  I know, it’s too good to be true.

These mini beauties are adapted from a recipe made famous by the Domestic Goddess herself, Nigella.  As strange as it sounds, you puree whole clementines (after boiling the heck out of them!), mix that with ground almonds, a couple other baking staples and you have the most incredibly moist, flavorful mini cakes around.  Dip them in dark chocolate (packed with antioxidants!) and you have all the indulgence without the waistline impact.  Like I said: Guilt. Free.

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Oh people, I hate to do this to you.  I really do.  I know that it’s just a few weeks after New Year’s and we are all still running with that whole resolution mentality … but I simply can’t wait to share this mind-blowing pasta sauce with you.  I know, it’s not very nice. In fact, it may be downright mean.  But if you are going to stray from those resolution for a minute (which, let’s face it, we all will at some point) let it be with this pasta sauce.  Trust me.  The indulgence is sooooo worth it.

Just to give you an idea of what this deceptively simple looking bolognese sauce is bringing to the table, I give you two words: Bacon. Fat.  Oh yea, I said it!  And oh mama, is that some good stuff!  Throw in some tomatoes, white wine, nutmeg, oh my!  The complexity and depth of flavors in this sauce is far beyond the time commitment involved. In my house it has been renamed The Best Pasta Sauce Ever Made.  Clearly, we aren’t terribly humble around these parts.

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Let’s face it, lentils are not sexy.  If all the cool foods like Dulce de Leche and Creme Fraiche got together for a party, Lentils would not be invited.  They are boring looking and even the name lentils sounds like the weird girl in the corner that no one wants to be seen talking to. Lentils are the nerdy, socially awkward, bowling ball-shaped runts of the food world.

To make up for their lack of social prowess, lentils are forced to bring many health benefits to the table in order to get noticed.  They are high in fiber, low in calories (and on the glycemic index!), extremely filling and will soak up the flavors of whatever liquid you decide to cook them in.  Paired with fresh spinach, smoky kielbasa and a mix of fresh mushrooms this lentil soup will quickly become your best friend while helping you stick to your new, healthful resolutions without having to sacrifice flavor!

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Am I the only person who finds the thought of making batches and batches of Christmas cookies intimidating?  There is so much rolling of dough, cutting of intricate shapes, hoping those shapes don’t spread into unrecognizable blobs while in the oven, whipping up batches of different colored icing that will likely be the wrong consistency and run all over the place like a bad finger painting experiment.  Plus, everyone has a “sure fire” “perfect” sugar cookie recipe, which inevitably ends up being less-than-perfect and far from sure-fire when tested in your own kitchen.

Let me introduce you to your new best friend in a sea of holiday craziness.  They are delicious, they sport the traditional red and green holiday colors and they look terribly fancy.  The brown sugar base blends with orange zest, tangy cranberries and salty pistachios for a flavor explosion that just gets better with time.  The best news, they are beyond simple to make.  The whole batch will be finished in less than an hour, which should leave you plenty of time for the requisite shopping/present wrapping/partying/celebrating.

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It’s a tragedy that I’ve been sitting on this recipe since the beginning of apple season (oh, let’s say September) and it’s now full-fledged winter around these parts.  Fortunately, I’m happy to report that despite my belief that the fall is strictly the best season for apples (which it really is), I’ve been informed that apples are truly a season-less fruit thanks to international shipping and year-round growing seasons!  (Shhh! Don’t tell the local eaters about my apples from New Zealand!)  That slightly lessens my guilt over not sharing this recipe sooner.  Carbon footprint guilt?  Well, that’s another story.

With a yogurt base, these apple muffins are moist, tender and spotted with diced apples that truly melt in your mouth.  Topped with toasted walnuts, spiced with cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger, these make a delicious quick breakfast or afternoon snack.  Made with whole wheat flour, low-fat yogurt and olive oil, these muffins land much closer to the Good-For-You side of the scale rather than the Just-Kill-Yourself-Now prepackaged muffins from most chain coffee shops.  Healthy-ish and delicious?  Ok, sign me up.

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